Emory's Gift
W. Bruce Cameron
Forge
2011
If you happen to be one of the four people who know me and have not had to listen to me go on and on about the amazingness (it's a word) of A Dog's Purpose, then stop reading this post and read this one and then come back here.
If you aren't in the mood to blog surf, I'll just spit it out for you: W. Bruce Cameron has written a book that changed my life. I am a dog lover (not an animal lover necessarily, but definitely dogs) and A Dog's Purpose changed the way I view the mortality of the dogs I've loved in my life and why I keep the stinky little mutts around.
While at the library a few weeks ago, I decided to look for other books by Mr. Cameron, and that's how I came across Emory's Gift.
While the two books are very different, Cameron has a distinctive writing style that is enjoyable to read, and he definitely has a knack for plot twists.
Emory's Gift is about a thirteen year old, Charlie, and a grizzly bear, Emory. Charlie's life hasn't exactly been a walk in the park - his mother recently died of cancer and his father is struggling to keep it together. When you add the fact that he's in middle school, well, you can imagine how much life just sucks. One day while fishing in the stream behind his house, Charlie not only sees a grizzly bear, he pretty much feeds the bear the trout he'd caught. A few days later the bear writes the name Emory in the sand, and Charlie realizes that this bear is special, but he wants to keep Emory a secret. Eventually, it is clear that Emory doesn't want to be kept a secret, and Charlie and Emory embark on an unbelievable adventure.
By the end of the book I could not read fast enough and could not put it down. Cameron weaves a beautiful tale of adolescence, family and growing up in a small town. However the ending? Meh. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't bad - it was actually quite good. I was just expecting something more moving - the ending of A Dog's Purpose stuck with me long after I finished the book.
All in all, Emory's Gift is a great read - definitely something to pick up before going on vacation or a great read for a rainy weekend. Unline ADP, I don't think it's necessarily an all-ages book. It's more violent and I'm pretty sure it has a few four letter words. I'd recommend it for middle school and older, and to anyone who loves the outdoors and the idea that the unimaginable is possible.
Happy Reading!
S
A quasi-pointless blog of the books I recommend (and some I don't) and my life as a library ninja.
Showing posts with label high school appropriate. Show all posts
Showing posts with label high school appropriate. Show all posts
24 September 2012
28 May 2012
Impartial Witness by Charles Todd
An Impartial Witness
Charles Todd
Narrated by Rosalyn Landor
Audiobooks America 2010
As a librarian, my list of "must reads" is always longer than Crystal Gale's hair, so it's rare for me to just grab a book at the library. However, two weeks ago I had to make an emergency trip to Denver, and none of my requested audio books were in yet, so I decided to pick one off the shelf. Two things happened: one, I perused books on the shelf and chose a book based on cover art and the short summaries you find either on the back or on the inside of the dust jacket. I'll explore this topic in more depth later. Two, I found a great book by an author I'd never heard of that I really enjoyed.
The book I chose was An Impartial Witness by Charles Todd. It's a Bess Crawford mystery, and now that I've finished it, I know that there are actually multiple books in the series, and An Impartial Witness is the second of the series, and the newest of the series will be out next week. The Bess Crawford mysteries are historical mysteries, set in England during World War I. Bess is a very strong female - she's a field nurse for the military and she was an "army brat" of sorts, growing up in India where her father was a high-ranking officer (I can't ever keep military ranks straight, and since I listened to the audio book, there's no way I'm going to figure out his rank, sorry) in the British military. In all of the mysteries, Bess doesn't go looking for trouble, but she definitely doesn't know how to leave trouble alone once it finds her - a fact that is eluded to often in An Impartial Witness.
The book starts out with Bess treating a severely burned pilot who keeps a picture of his wife near him at all times. After transporting the man to a hospital in England, Bess takes a train to London for a few days leave before she must return to the front. As she's walking through the train station, she sees the woman from the photograph - the pilot's wife - but this woman is utterly despondent as she bids farewell to a different soldier. A few weeks later, Bess finds out that the woman was brutally murdered later on that same day. When Bess volunteers to help Scotland Yard with the investigation, she's caught up in the mystery and nearly gets herself killed a few times.
I loved that the book had a historical element to it that added to the "intrigue", however on the same note, I'm not too sure of the historical accuracy of the book. For example, the book takes place in 1917, and Bess has her own motorcar that she drives around like it's no big deal. That seems odd to me - but I wasn't alive in 1917, so maybe women were driving quite a bit back then. Also, I love that Todd has created a very strong female character who doesn't back down just because she's a female, but I was surprised at the fact that no one objected to her nosing around all the time. In the end, the flaws didn't outweigh the enjoyment I had listening to the book - Rosalyn Landor did a great job with voices and keeping the pace quick enough so that it wasn't boring.
I'd recommend this book to anyone who enjoys historical fiction, mysteries and strong female characters, but I wouldn't recommend it to readers who are particular about details. There's nothing terribly risque in the novel, so it could be HS appropriate, but the historical references and vocabulary would make it difficult for a reluctant reader or MS reader to follow.
Charles Todd
Narrated by Rosalyn Landor
Audiobooks America 2010
As a librarian, my list of "must reads" is always longer than Crystal Gale's hair, so it's rare for me to just grab a book at the library. However, two weeks ago I had to make an emergency trip to Denver, and none of my requested audio books were in yet, so I decided to pick one off the shelf. Two things happened: one, I perused books on the shelf and chose a book based on cover art and the short summaries you find either on the back or on the inside of the dust jacket. I'll explore this topic in more depth later. Two, I found a great book by an author I'd never heard of that I really enjoyed.
The book I chose was An Impartial Witness by Charles Todd. It's a Bess Crawford mystery, and now that I've finished it, I know that there are actually multiple books in the series, and An Impartial Witness is the second of the series, and the newest of the series will be out next week. The Bess Crawford mysteries are historical mysteries, set in England during World War I. Bess is a very strong female - she's a field nurse for the military and she was an "army brat" of sorts, growing up in India where her father was a high-ranking officer (I can't ever keep military ranks straight, and since I listened to the audio book, there's no way I'm going to figure out his rank, sorry) in the British military. In all of the mysteries, Bess doesn't go looking for trouble, but she definitely doesn't know how to leave trouble alone once it finds her - a fact that is eluded to often in An Impartial Witness.
The book starts out with Bess treating a severely burned pilot who keeps a picture of his wife near him at all times. After transporting the man to a hospital in England, Bess takes a train to London for a few days leave before she must return to the front. As she's walking through the train station, she sees the woman from the photograph - the pilot's wife - but this woman is utterly despondent as she bids farewell to a different soldier. A few weeks later, Bess finds out that the woman was brutally murdered later on that same day. When Bess volunteers to help Scotland Yard with the investigation, she's caught up in the mystery and nearly gets herself killed a few times.
I loved that the book had a historical element to it that added to the "intrigue", however on the same note, I'm not too sure of the historical accuracy of the book. For example, the book takes place in 1917, and Bess has her own motorcar that she drives around like it's no big deal. That seems odd to me - but I wasn't alive in 1917, so maybe women were driving quite a bit back then. Also, I love that Todd has created a very strong female character who doesn't back down just because she's a female, but I was surprised at the fact that no one objected to her nosing around all the time. In the end, the flaws didn't outweigh the enjoyment I had listening to the book - Rosalyn Landor did a great job with voices and keeping the pace quick enough so that it wasn't boring.
I'd recommend this book to anyone who enjoys historical fiction, mysteries and strong female characters, but I wouldn't recommend it to readers who are particular about details. There's nothing terribly risque in the novel, so it could be HS appropriate, but the historical references and vocabulary would make it difficult for a reluctant reader or MS reader to follow.
30 April 2012
Divergent by Veronica Roth
Divergent
Veronica Roth
Katherine Tegen Books
2011
Usually, I try to review books within two weeks of reading them. Though I finished this book back in March, it's so awesome, I'm going to review it anyway.
I know I'm not the first person to make this comparison, but whatever: Divergent is the next Hunger Games. Only, in Suzannian (my little made up world), it's just a little bit cooler because 1) it takes place in Chicago and that's my second home and 2) there's a character named Tobias and I heart German names.
Tris (formerly Beatrice) lives in a futuristic world where there are five factions. Each of the factions lives life based on one single virtue: bravery, peace, selflessness, intelligence or honesty. At age sixteen, each child takes a test that reveals which faction, or virtue, fits them the best. Only Tris's test results come back inconclusive, or divergent. So she must choose which faction she wants to spend the rest of her life with. She grew up Abnegation (selfless), but has chosen to switch factions and join Dauntless (bravery). But life in the world of the brave isn't all it's cut out to be.
I loved this book because Roth has, much like Collins, taken a life theme (virtues) and given it a twist that causes us to see it in a completely different light. With Hunger Games we looked at reality TV and what it could become. In Divergent we look at values/virtues and see what they could become. What would the world really look like if we shaped our lives entirely around one virtue? And which would be worth shaping our lives around? Honesty? Knowledge? Peace?
Roth also looks at these values/virtues in terms of society and jobs. The members of the Dauntless faction (bravery) are the ones who guard the city, suggesting that the most important trait/virtue for a soldier/police officer is bravery. But is that the most important trait? What about intelligence, or selflessness?
In any case, Divergent is a book that will stay with you long after you finish it. I would highly recommend this book to middle and high school students, their parents, their grandparents, and anyone who loved Katniss, Peeta* and Gale.
*Side note: when the Hunger Games movie came out, people combined the two main characters names to create Peenis (not appropriate, but kind of funny). If you combined the two characters from Divergent, you'd get Fourtris (fortress). Freakin' awesome.
Veronica Roth
Katherine Tegen Books
2011
Usually, I try to review books within two weeks of reading them. Though I finished this book back in March, it's so awesome, I'm going to review it anyway.
I know I'm not the first person to make this comparison, but whatever: Divergent is the next Hunger Games. Only, in Suzannian (my little made up world), it's just a little bit cooler because 1) it takes place in Chicago and that's my second home and 2) there's a character named Tobias and I heart German names.
Tris (formerly Beatrice) lives in a futuristic world where there are five factions. Each of the factions lives life based on one single virtue: bravery, peace, selflessness, intelligence or honesty. At age sixteen, each child takes a test that reveals which faction, or virtue, fits them the best. Only Tris's test results come back inconclusive, or divergent. So she must choose which faction she wants to spend the rest of her life with. She grew up Abnegation (selfless), but has chosen to switch factions and join Dauntless (bravery). But life in the world of the brave isn't all it's cut out to be.
I loved this book because Roth has, much like Collins, taken a life theme (virtues) and given it a twist that causes us to see it in a completely different light. With Hunger Games we looked at reality TV and what it could become. In Divergent we look at values/virtues and see what they could become. What would the world really look like if we shaped our lives entirely around one virtue? And which would be worth shaping our lives around? Honesty? Knowledge? Peace?
Roth also looks at these values/virtues in terms of society and jobs. The members of the Dauntless faction (bravery) are the ones who guard the city, suggesting that the most important trait/virtue for a soldier/police officer is bravery. But is that the most important trait? What about intelligence, or selflessness?
In any case, Divergent is a book that will stay with you long after you finish it. I would highly recommend this book to middle and high school students, their parents, their grandparents, and anyone who loved Katniss, Peeta* and Gale.
*Side note: when the Hunger Games movie came out, people combined the two main characters names to create Peenis (not appropriate, but kind of funny). If you combined the two characters from Divergent, you'd get Fourtris (fortress). Freakin' awesome.
16 April 2012
Cinder by Marissa Meyer
Cinder
Feiwel & Friends
New York
2012
Oh holy lord how I have waited to read this book. Two of my FAVORITE things are science fiction and fairy tales. And Cinder is written by a woman who is the melding of the Brothers Grimm and Orson Scott Card*. Since I read a review in Booklist back in the fall I’ve been DYING to read this book. It just sounds so good! And it was. I only have one teeny tiny little qualm with it, but I’ll get to that later. Let’s talk about it’s awesomeness first, shall we?
Cinder is a cyborg – she’s part human, part machine, and she also happens to be an orphan. Her adoptive father has passed away, and she now lives with her adoptive “step”mother, who never wanted her in the first place, and her two stepsisters: Peony, who loves her dearly, and Pearl, who is repulsed by her cyborg-ness. Cinder also happens to be an extremely talented mechanic, which comes in handy since her stepmother is more interested in making her daughters look beautiful (and possibly, hopefully, marrying them off to wonderful men who will provide for her).
Cinder’s mechanic skills are what cause her to meet Prince Kai, who, of course, is much more handsome in person. Prince Kai has an android that recently malfunctioned and needs Cinder to fix it for him. Cue complicated love story: Prince Kai doesn’t know Cinder is cyborg, so she’s torn whenever he flirts with her because she’s sure he wouldn’t be interested in her if he knew she wasn’t completely human.
Another plot twist comes along when Peony catches a deadly plague-like disease called Leutmosis. Cinder’s stepmother blames her and sells her for scientific research. None of the cyborgs who have volunteered (or been drafted) have survived the testing as of yet, so Cinder goes to the research center, certain she will die. Enter plot twist #2: Cinder turns out to be immune.
Plot twist #3 arrives in the form of a crazy queen of the moon (I always wanted to be queen of the moon when I was a kid…). Queen Levana, and most of the people who live on the moon (“Lunars”) have the ability to “glamour” – or mind control anyone in their presence. It’s possible to resist their control, but it takes lots of practice, and guts – once Levana knows she can’t control you, she has you killed. Nice lady. Anyway, Kai basically has to marry Levana or she’s going to wage war on earth, and earth will lose.
What I loved about the book is that it is so creative and ingenious - I truly love it when author’s take ancient tales and retell them. I think it adds layers to our years of reading experience. I loved that Cinder was independent, strong willed and smart. I also loved that she had a freakin’ lie detector embedded in her eye! Talk about handy...
What I did not love was the ending. You all know how picky I am about endings. I do not like it when books end clearly needing a sequel. Cinder doesn’t really have an end. It’s almost as if Meyer’s editor said “hmm…a 600 page YA novel? Methinks not, let’s split that bad-boy into a novel or two.” The next book in the Lunar series will literally have to pick up exactly where Cinder left off. As I finished all I could think was “this cannot be the last page!” but, it was.
I would still recommend Cinder to any fan of sci-fi or fairytales. Like I said, it’s a great take on a classic tale, it’s completely middle school appropriate in both content and reading level, and it is a very fun read. Unfortunately, the ending has turned me off to the rest of the series.
Remember? I'm picky.
*Since she’s female I couldn’t say something catchy like “she’s the love child of the Brothers Grimm and Orson Scott Card”, but that’s definitely what I think.
28 February 2012
Paper Covers Rock
Jenny Hubbard
Delacorte Press
2011
Most people think that I’m super smart because I’m a librarian. Completely untrue. I’m really not that smart, and in reading Paper Covers Rock, I realized that I know nothing about classic literature. Nothing. Zip. The amount in my bank account. Nichts.
Paper Covers Rock is written in diary form, and it is the diary of Alex Stromm, a student at a boarding school in North Carolina. One afternoon in the fall, he witnesses one of his best friends die in a terrible swimming accident. In an attempt to deal come to terms with his grief and feelings of guilt, Alex starts keeping a journal; one that is partly reflective in nature and one that tells the story of what happened the day Thomas died. What keeps the book moving is the fact that Alex isn’t exactly sure what happened that day at the rock – he knows that he, Thomas and their friend Glenn had been drinking, and Thomas had been drinking the most of all of them. He knows that they decided to jump from the rock into the river, and that he and Thomas played Rock, Paper, Scissors to see who would jump first. And he knows that when he surfaces from his dive, Thomas is unconscious, and shortly thereafter, he’s dead. The school has a very strict no alcohol policy, so Glenn and Alex must cover up some of their story in order to stay in school, and Alex quickly begins to suspect that Glenn is trying to cover up more than just the incident on the rock.
So what does all of this have to do with classic literature? Alex has a bit of a crush on one of his teachers, Miss Dovecott, and in trying to help Alex deal with his loss, she recommends that he read different classics: Moby Dick, the Old Man and the Sea, etc., and he weaves lots of literary references into his diary. For example, he refers to himself as Is-Male (I got that one), and he asks Her-Mann lots of questions (got that one too), and apparently the title to each chapter is a quote from Moby Dick (missed that one). While I was reading I could tell when the narrator was referencing something, but I rarely had the background knowledge to make the connection.
Regardless of being able to make connections, Hubbard did an amazing job of creating a realistic voice in Alex Stromm. I don’t know for sure, because, well, I’m not and have never been a teenaged boy, but Alex’s guilt and uncertainty are absolutely real and palpable. And the ending is absolutely true to life.
I wouldn’t necessarily recommend this book for middle school or reluctant readers because of all the literary references (I’d call them obscure, but they probably aren’t). However, I think that just about any high school student can relate to Alex because everyone, at some point, has to choose between seeing the truth even though it’s painful and difficult, or continue to turn a blind eye because it’s easier. And everyone, at some point in their lives, goes through an event that will change their existence permanently.
10 February 2012
Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater
Shiver
Scholastic Press
2009
Two apologies to start off this review:
1. I'm WAY behind the times in reading this book. And for that, I'm sorry.
2. Dear Maggie Stiefvater: I'm sorry I read this book when I did. I know you've written a great novel (er, trilogy), and I should have read this book years ago. Any book that followed the high of Daughter was bound to get a meh reaction. That’s just the way things are. But I'm still a little sorry.
With Shiver Stiefvater has taken the “forbidden love” plotline and threw a big, rather hairy, wrench into it. Grace and Sam have always admired one another, but from afar. Grace has always admired Sam from her kitchen window, and Sam admired Grace when she came into the bookstore where he worked during the summer. So why don’t the two just talk to each other? Because Sam isn’t a typical teenager: he’s a werewolf. When the weather gets cold enough, he turns into a wolf and stays that way until the weather warms enough that he can turn back into a human. In their small town of Mercy Falls, MN, there has been lots of wolf activity recently – a student was mauled and killed by the wolves. When a hunting party shoots Sam, he is able to turn himself into a human and luckily Grace is there to save him. Finally united in their human form, Sam and Grace make the best of the time they have together while trying to find a cure AND save the town from Jack, the oh-wait-he-didn’t-actually-die new werewolf in town.
Being a non-fan (antifan?) of the romance genre for the most part, I thought I was destined to dislike this book. It sounded Jacob-gets-Bella-esque from the description, so I was leery. However, the super creative twist (think Ladyhawke only sans Ferris Bueller, and for teenagers) made it completely readable to us Nicholas-Sparks-loathers. I will say that the plot dragged a little for me, and there were times when Grace and Sam were gazing deep into one another’s eyes and I kind of hoped for a wolf to jump out and bite them, but again, I blame the timing. I’m pretty sure if I’d read this book in the fall, or even six months from now, things would be different. But I digress. In general, it was a pretty good read. I can absolutely see the teen attraction, and the last chapter or so hooked me. I would love to say I’m going to read the rest of the trilogy: Linger and Forever, but unfortunately, I just don’t have time. The pile of books-to-be-read grows daily, so I rarely read sequels (Laini Taylor, if you’re reading this, that sentence does NOT apply to your books. Just sayin).
Regardless of whether or not I find out what happens to Grace, Sam, and all the other great characters from Mercy Falls, I would highly recommend (and already have, twice) this book to just about any teenage girl who loved Twilight.
1. I'm WAY behind the times in reading this book. And for that, I'm sorry.
2. Dear Maggie Stiefvater: I'm sorry I read this book when I did. I know you've written a great novel (er, trilogy), and I should have read this book years ago. Any book that followed the high of Daughter was bound to get a meh reaction. That’s just the way things are. But I'm still a little sorry.
With Shiver Stiefvater has taken the “forbidden love” plotline and threw a big, rather hairy, wrench into it. Grace and Sam have always admired one another, but from afar. Grace has always admired Sam from her kitchen window, and Sam admired Grace when she came into the bookstore where he worked during the summer. So why don’t the two just talk to each other? Because Sam isn’t a typical teenager: he’s a werewolf. When the weather gets cold enough, he turns into a wolf and stays that way until the weather warms enough that he can turn back into a human. In their small town of Mercy Falls, MN, there has been lots of wolf activity recently – a student was mauled and killed by the wolves. When a hunting party shoots Sam, he is able to turn himself into a human and luckily Grace is there to save him. Finally united in their human form, Sam and Grace make the best of the time they have together while trying to find a cure AND save the town from Jack, the oh-wait-he-didn’t-actually-die new werewolf in town.
Being a non-fan (antifan?) of the romance genre for the most part, I thought I was destined to dislike this book. It sounded Jacob-gets-Bella-esque from the description, so I was leery. However, the super creative twist (think Ladyhawke only sans Ferris Bueller, and for teenagers) made it completely readable to us Nicholas-Sparks-loathers. I will say that the plot dragged a little for me, and there were times when Grace and Sam were gazing deep into one another’s eyes and I kind of hoped for a wolf to jump out and bite them, but again, I blame the timing. I’m pretty sure if I’d read this book in the fall, or even six months from now, things would be different. But I digress. In general, it was a pretty good read. I can absolutely see the teen attraction, and the last chapter or so hooked me. I would love to say I’m going to read the rest of the trilogy: Linger and Forever, but unfortunately, I just don’t have time. The pile of books-to-be-read grows daily, so I rarely read sequels (Laini Taylor, if you’re reading this, that sentence does NOT apply to your books. Just sayin).
Regardless of whether or not I find out what happens to Grace, Sam, and all the other great characters from Mercy Falls, I would highly recommend (and already have, twice) this book to just about any teenage girl who loved Twilight.
31 January 2012
The actual review for Daughter of Smoke and Bone
The Daughter of Smoke and Bone
Little Brown
2011
Ok, so yesterday’s post was kinda mean. Well, not mean, but it wasn’t really a review as much as it was a demanding rant.
Sorry about that.
But The Daughter of Smoke and Bone is one of the best books I’ve read in a while. Holy crap it’s good. It’s so good that when it ended, I didn’t pick up another book for three days because I couldn’t imagine reading anything else. And in my world, not picking up a book for three days is a big deal. HUGE. My guy was a little worried when I was reading magazines and…gasp…talking to him instead of ignoring him (in my defense, he likes to read as well and is rarely offended when I ignore him).
Every time I give the premise of Daughter, people look at me like I’m nuts. It’s so involved and so intricate it can be a little confusing. So stick with me for a minute mmkay?
17 year old Karou lives a double life in Prague. On the one hand she’s an extremely talented art student who doesn’t have a family and is a little mysterious. On the other hand she’s an errand girl for the chimaera (mythical beings made up of different animals and human parts) who raised her. However, because they are part animal, part human, the chimaera do not venture out into the human world. Karou must access them through a one-way portal: she knocks on a door and it is opened to her. If she tries to open the door from the outside, she cannot enter. Brimstone, the head chimaera, is a Wishmonger – if you bring him things he wants, he pays in wishes. And usually what he wants are teeth. Karou is usually sent out to collect teeth from all kinds of people, both normal and…well…unsavory. Upon returning from an errand, Karou notices a handprint has been seared into the door of the portal. About a week later, she is attacked by a seraph – a super hot angel dude. Shortly thereafter, all the portals burn down and Karou is left alone in the human world. As she tries desperately to find a way back to the only family she’s ever known, the seraph – Akiva – reappears in her life, and Karou is drawn to him for completely inexplicable reasons.
And that? Is only about a third of the actual plot. The plot is amazing – twists and turns and creativity I never would have imagined. The world Taylor creates is mystical and fantastic and so completely believable you will get lost in it. And not lost as in “ohmygoodness where am I”, lost as in “I have animals to feed and a job to do? Pah. I shall read and nothing else”.
And on the last page, you will simultaneously want to hug and curse Taylor. Hug her because she has created this amazing work of fiction that is romance, action, fantasy wrapped together with a little comedy, and curse her because the sequel Days of Blood and Starlight (the title was just announced Friday on Taylor’s blog) isn’t due out until this fall. Oh, the horror. I seriously don’t know if I can wait that long. I’ve already contacted Taylor and begged for an advanced copy.
And yes, I will be sending her a link to this review in the hopes that she finds me witty and charming and sends me an advanced copy.
If not, you can bet your knickers I WILL NOT work immediately following the release of Days of Blood and Starlight. I will be reading and neglecting the rest of my life for at least 24 hours.
I also just noticed on her blog that Universal already owns the film rights. There are only 52 days left until Hunger Games the movie is released. And you all know how excited I am about that right? NO LIE: I’d trade Hunger for Daughter. THAT’S HOW AWESOME IT IS.
So go read it. Now.
30 January 2012
The Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor
The Daughter of Smoke and Bone
Laini Taylor
Little Brown
2011
There are about a thousand ways I could/can start this review. But I feel like this one sums it up the best:
Stop what you are doing RIGHT NOW and go check out Daughter of Smoke and Bone and read it.
RIGHT. NOW.
Why, dear friend are you still reading this review?!?! Were the capital letters not urgent enough? Did I not make myself clear?
Go.
Now.
I swear, you’ll love this book and be completely annoyed that the sequel isn’t due out for another six months.
Now go.
JUST GO ALREADY.
17 January 2012
Zombies vs. Unicorns edited by Holly Black and Justine Larbalestier
Zombies vs. Unicorns
Edited by Holly Black and Justine Larbalestier
Margaret K. McElderry Books
2010
Scores for Team Zombie:
Edited by Holly Black and Justine Larbalestier
Margaret K. McElderry Books
2010
Obviously, with a title like Zombies vs. Unicorns I had to read it. It did not disappoint, though it wasn’t quite what I thought it would be either. Of course, I went off of the assumption that it would be a scholarly debate based in fact and research (ahem). It isn’t. It’s actually a collection of stories by various YA authors who are either “Team Unicorn” or “Team Zombie”. The banter between editors Black and Larbalestier at the beginning of each story was the only debate throughout the book, and it’s snort-out-loud funny.
The book started because of a twitter war between Black and Larbalestier about which was better: zombies or unicorns. Larbalestier is Team Zombie and Black is Team Unicorn. When I first heard about the book, my I’m-too-much-of-a-wussie-to-watch-scary-movies side immediately agreed with Black that unicorns kick undead hiney. But when I saw the authors’ that made up Team Zombie, I decided I’d have to give the walking dead a chance. After finishing the book, the debate still has not been settled: there were excellent zombie and unicorn stories, but there were also crappy/weird stories from both teams as well. Here’s my favs and my least favs.
Scores for Team Unicorn:
The Care and Feeding of Your Baby Killer Unicorn by Diana Peterfreund – in a world where unicorns are actually savage beasts, a girl saves a baby unicorn from certain death at the hands of a creeptastic carnie and raises it in spite of putting herself directly in the path of danger. And razor sharp unicorn teeth.
Princess Prettypants by Meg Cabot – I swear I didn’t like this book just because of the author. It’s Liz’s birthday and her aunt sends her the most interesting present ever: a for realsies unicorn. Little does she realize that unicorns aren’t actually my pretty ponies, and Liz must learn how to take care of Princess Prettypants while also trying to win back her friends, all of whom she ticked off on her birthday.
Scores for Team Zombie:
Cold Hands by Cassandra Clare – Adele and James are a young couple in love in the town Lychgate, aka Zombietown. But when James dies in a car accident, everyone assumes they will not live happily ever after, since Luke will probably come back as a zombie. Did I mention Luke was supposed to be the Duke of Lychgate? Yeah, Adele is out to prove that he was murdered. It’s an awesome story.
Bougainvillea by Carrie Ryan – the island of little Curaçao is a safe haven against zombie – mudo – infestation, and Iza’s father runs the island with an iron fist. Iza feels stifled and isn’t sure that the way her father runs things will actually keep them safe. Then one day a mysterious stranger appears on the dock. Iza should report him, but for some reason she doesn’t, and…well…all hell breaks loose.
Strikeouts in general, regardless of team:
A Thousand Flowers by Margo Lanagan – princess makes it with a unicorn, gets preggers, goes downhill from there. Way too weird for me, and I can handle weird.
Inoculata by Scott Westerfield – this kills me to say because I heart Scott Westerfield. I was so excited to read his story and it totally left me feeling meh. In a zombie infested world, there is a group of people living in isolation beyond a fence. One kid figures out how to get zombie-fied w/o going crazy and then all the kids want to.
This is definitely a book for anyone who likes short stories and stories that present interesting twists on old topics. Even though there were a few misses within the collection, in general, it was a very fun read, and if you find yourself bored with the stories, spend a few minutes looking at the book cover - it depicts an all out battle between zombies and unicorns and is, well, hilarious.
In the end, I’m totally team Unicorn: I’ll take rainbow farts over rotting flesh any day of the week.
13 January 2012
I'm Not Her by Janet Gurtler
I'm Not Her
Janet Gurtler
Sourcebooks
2011

I read a review or two of this book, put it on hold and waited for about two months to get it. Usually, that's a sign of a really good book. By the time I got the book, I'd completely forgotten about it. When I read the description, I almost turned it back in without reading it. I couldn't remember why people had said it was soooo great. And now that I've read it, even I can't necessarily put my finger on why it's soooo great. But it is.
Maybe I love the book so much because I feel like Tess is me and her perfect, athletic sister is my sister Nikki. Tess likes herself just the way she is, and though Kristina is pretty content lets her be herself, she also encourages Tess to be a bit more social. I think that's how things were (and probably still are) with Nikki and I. Granted, my sister never had to encourage me to be social. But I was (and still am) awkward, especially when you put me next to my tall, stunning sister. I might not be shy, but when Nikki walks into a room, you can't help but notice her (I just make people notice me by being loud and often somewhat obnoxious. I prefer the term charming, but whatever).
The twist of the book comes when Kristina is diagnosed with bone cancer. All of a sudden her popularity weaves its way into Tess' life, and Tess likes it and hates it. Tess has always been somewhat invisible in her sister’s shadow, and not just to Kristina’s friends, but also to her parents. Suddenly, Kristina’s friends – who couldn’t be bothered to notice Tess before – are constantly around wondering why Kristina won’t return their calls, and her parents expect Tess to “be strong” even when they refuse to deal with the situation themselves. Throughout the book Tess is completely torn between being angry that her sister’s situation has upended her life and dealing with the horror and the sadness she feels about her sister having such a devastating form of cancer.
I love that Gurtler made the parents fallible but not self-absorbed. The parents have faults, and up until their daughter was diagnosed with cancer, they were able to cover those faults with style or academia. When faced with the dilemma of their daughter’s illness, they don’t know how to cope with the reality of the situation or the emotions that come along with knowing their lives aren’t perfect and their perfect athlete daughter might end up an amputee. I also love that Tess was not only mature and level headed, able to step in and be the adult when her parents were unable/unwilling, but also a girly teenager, completely controlled by her hormones. Tess struggles to balance school – she really wants to be one of the freshmen chosen for National Honor Society, her friend(s) – including her former best friend and the multiple boys who now notice she exists and her parents – whose habit of turning a blind eye and acting like all is normal are not only affecting their relationship, but Tess’ grades and Krisina’s recovery.
In the end I know that my life and my relationship with my sister (and my entire family) is very different from Tess’, though I probably felt a lot like she did when I was a freshman in high school. The bond that Tess felt with her sister and the way it grew and evolved throughout the book was pretty close to the relationship I had with my sister: we were different and we frustrated the heck out of each other, but it was in high school that we learned to talk to each other, confide in each other and value each other for our differences.
Janet Gurtler
Sourcebooks
2011

I read a review or two of this book, put it on hold and waited for about two months to get it. Usually, that's a sign of a really good book. By the time I got the book, I'd completely forgotten about it. When I read the description, I almost turned it back in without reading it. I couldn't remember why people had said it was soooo great. And now that I've read it, even I can't necessarily put my finger on why it's soooo great. But it is.
Maybe I love the book so much because I feel like Tess is me and her perfect, athletic sister is my sister Nikki. Tess likes herself just the way she is, and though Kristina is pretty content lets her be herself, she also encourages Tess to be a bit more social. I think that's how things were (and probably still are) with Nikki and I. Granted, my sister never had to encourage me to be social. But I was (and still am) awkward, especially when you put me next to my tall, stunning sister. I might not be shy, but when Nikki walks into a room, you can't help but notice her (I just make people notice me by being loud and often somewhat obnoxious. I prefer the term charming, but whatever).
The twist of the book comes when Kristina is diagnosed with bone cancer. All of a sudden her popularity weaves its way into Tess' life, and Tess likes it and hates it. Tess has always been somewhat invisible in her sister’s shadow, and not just to Kristina’s friends, but also to her parents. Suddenly, Kristina’s friends – who couldn’t be bothered to notice Tess before – are constantly around wondering why Kristina won’t return their calls, and her parents expect Tess to “be strong” even when they refuse to deal with the situation themselves. Throughout the book Tess is completely torn between being angry that her sister’s situation has upended her life and dealing with the horror and the sadness she feels about her sister having such a devastating form of cancer.
I love that Gurtler made the parents fallible but not self-absorbed. The parents have faults, and up until their daughter was diagnosed with cancer, they were able to cover those faults with style or academia. When faced with the dilemma of their daughter’s illness, they don’t know how to cope with the reality of the situation or the emotions that come along with knowing their lives aren’t perfect and their perfect athlete daughter might end up an amputee. I also love that Tess was not only mature and level headed, able to step in and be the adult when her parents were unable/unwilling, but also a girly teenager, completely controlled by her hormones. Tess struggles to balance school – she really wants to be one of the freshmen chosen for National Honor Society, her friend(s) – including her former best friend and the multiple boys who now notice she exists and her parents – whose habit of turning a blind eye and acting like all is normal are not only affecting their relationship, but Tess’ grades and Krisina’s recovery.
In the end I know that my life and my relationship with my sister (and my entire family) is very different from Tess’, though I probably felt a lot like she did when I was a freshman in high school. The bond that Tess felt with her sister and the way it grew and evolved throughout the book was pretty close to the relationship I had with my sister: we were different and we frustrated the heck out of each other, but it was in high school that we learned to talk to each other, confide in each other and value each other for our differences.
16 December 2011
Trapped by Michael Northrop
Trapped
Michael Northrop
Scholastic Press
2011
Michael Northrop
Scholastic Press
2011
It’s winter, it’s cold, and it snows. Luckily where I live, it doesn’t snow too much (yes, I live in Colorado, but newsflash, the western side of Colorado is the desert), so we rarely get snow days (darn). When I lived in Chicago I always hoped for snow days, but in the four years I lived there, it just never happened. As a teacher, I love snow days. It’s the greatest feeling in the world – wake up, start getting ready for school and ring ring YES no school! I’ve never thought about the fact that a snow day could be bad.
Then I read Trapped by Michael Northrup and I realized a snow day could be bad. Especially if it meant I’d be stuck at school on a snow day.
Trapped takes place in New England – a place where monster snow storms are more common. And the storm that takes place in this book is the big one – the perfect snowstorm. The book starts out and it’s a regular day with snow expected. When the snow starts to fall harder and sooner than expected, school is released a little early so the students can get home. Of course, a few students and a teacher stay late – grading papers, working on projects, etc. By the time they decide to leave a few hours later, the snow is so bad, cars are no longer driving on the road and it looks like they’ll be stuck overnight. The next morning they wake up and it’s still snowing and it doesn’t look like it’s going to stop. They realize that no one is going to be coming for them anytime soon, so they make themselves comfortable – they raid the cafeteria for food and try to make the best of it. But when day three and four pass and the snow hasn’t stopped, no power and no sign of help coming, things get interesting.
I enjoyed the premise of the book, and I really enjoyed that it was told from a student’s point of view – for the first day or so, they aren’t worried because they’re at the age where they still rely on adults to take care of them. Once there are no adults to make the decisions, things get a little tricky. The characters are relatively true to “typical teenagers” – though I must say, they were pretty tame for teenagers. I liked this book, but it wasn’t really a page turner, and my reliable student reader Anna called it “a little kid-ish”. It has action, it has suspense, but it’s just a little…vanilla. Having said that, I liked that it wasn’t over-sensationalized – it’s definitely realistic fiction.
Though it didn’t make my top ten list of greatest books ever written in the history of the world, I would recommend it to some of the readers I have who don’t like fiction because it’s “fake”. I think those readers who enjoy reading books that are realistic and not dramatized at all would enjoy a book like this.
Scarlet Moon and the Once Upon a Time Series
Scarlet Moon
Simon Pulse
2004
Part of the Once Upon a Time series
Fairytales will always have a special place in my heart. When I was a girl, I loved fairytales because of the knight in shining armor. When I was a teenager, I loved fairytales because they made me feel nostalgic (I know, nostalgia as a teenager? But think about it, childhood stories would be something we had shed by that age and could look back on with fond memories). In college, I was able to see and appreciate the strength the female characters possessed in fairytales. Now as an adult, I have loved reading fairytales to my nieces because I get to re-experience the stories through their eyes.
Last year I discovered the Once Upon a Time series, and I was hooked. The series takes all of our favorite fairytales and retells them with historical twists. Scarlet Moon is the retelling of Little Red Riding Hood. Only in this story, the grandmother lives in the woods because she has been banished from the village for being a “witch”, and Ruth (Little Red Riding Hood) is first attacked by the wolf when she is young because her red cloak attracts his attention. She survives the attack as a child because her brother stabs the wolf. Then her brother must go off to fight in the Crusades, and Ruth spends the next nine years helping her father in his blacksmith shop. As a young woman, she meets the mysterious nobleman William enters her life, she can’t help but fall for him – he’s the only man who not only accepts that she is a woman doing a man’s work, he is attracted to her because of it. One problem: William has a very dark secret. His family was cursed generations before, and, well, he’s a werewolf.
Yep, you guessed it. He’s the wolf that attacked Ruth so many years before. And now she has the hots for him and he has the hots for her. It’s twisted and awesome and I couldn’t put it down.
What I love about Scarlet Moon and all the books in the Once Upon a Time series is that the twist they put on each of the fairytales has to do with different historical periods, making them almost historical fiction. Scarlet Moon is just as much about the Crusades and how difficult they were on families as it is about werewolves and witches. Crimson Thread, the retelling of Rumpelstiltskin, tells the story of American immigrants at the turn of the century. What a great way for girls to learn history!
So obviously I’m completely in love with this series. Scarlet Moon is one of my favorites, and I’ve read about 8 of the series. Yes the series is a bit older, but it is TOTALLY worth reading, regardless of age. The books are written at about a 6th grade level, so if you have young daughters, they are great books to read with them before bedtime. If you have sons, yeah…you’re going to want to find a different series. These books are all girl. I would highly recommend these books to any female who has fond memories of fairytales.
05 December 2011
A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness
A Monster Calls
Patrick Ness
(inspired by an idea from Siobhan Dowd)
Candlewick Press
2011
Here's an article/review written by Jessica Bruder, a woman who knew Dowd well: It Takes a Monster to Learn How to Grieve
Another great review from Stackedbooks.org
Here's an article written by a 17-old-student here in GJ. Genrefluent's Bistro Book Club - Teens Talk About Books
Here's a link to Siobhan Dowd's website The Siobhan Dowd Trust
Patrick Ness
(inspired by an idea from Siobhan Dowd)
Candlewick Press
2011
First off, let me say that usually, I don’t do scary. I’m the girl that has night terrors and is truly afraid of things that go bump in the night. When I do read scary books, I usually only read them during daylight hours, and they usually have a pretty profound effect on me – especially on my ability to sleep. When A Monster Calls came across my desk, I knew the book would have an effect on me, I just didn’t realize how much of an effect. And…spoiler alert…it’s actually NOT scary.
A Monster Calls is about Connor, whose father has moved to America and has a whole new family, whose grandmother is hard-working and pretty cold toward him, and whose mother is battling cancer. Connor has suffered from a terrible nightmare for months – his mother falling off a cliff being consumed by a monster. When another monster appears at his window one night, he isn’t scared. This monster has not come for his mother, it’s come for him. The monster will tell Connor three tales, and then Connor must tell him a tale – the only truth Connor knows. But Connor isn’t sure he can tell the only truth he knows.
Throughout the book Connor tries to convince himself that the monster is just a dream – I mean really, it’s a talking tree! But as his mother gets worse, and things at school get worse, the monster continues to visit him, tell him stories and have a profound effect on him.
I don’t want to tell you much about the book, because I think part of the reason it affected me as much as it did is because I didn’t know much about the storyline. I will say that the book really isn’t about monsters. It’s about coping with grief and loss. Patrick Ness has done a superb job of creating a new way of viewing the human condition and what is “unfair” in life.
What I will tell you about the book is that while it was written by Ness, the idea came from another great writer – Siobhan Dowd. She has written several excellent novels which I can’t keep on my shelf, and in 2007 she lost her battle with breast cancer. Last night as I finished the book, I couldn’t help but think about her and her battle. Did this idea come from her difficulty in dealing with her mortality? I also kept thinking about a conversation I recently had with my dear friend Katy– is it easier to deal with loss when it’s sudden or when it is a slow process? In the end, we realized that loss is difficult regardless of when and how it happens, but the most important part of loss is dealing with it. I hope I never have to deal with loss similar to Connor’s (I’m hoping beyond all hope that my parents are actually immortal…), I’ve learned a lesson from Connor’s story – speaking the truth is the only way to truly deal with loss.
I would recommend this book to just about anyone – unless they’re looking for a traditional “horror” book. The illustrations (by Jim Kay) are haunting, but the book really isn’t about monsters in the traditional sense. This book really is about as close to realistic fiction without actually being realistic fiction as humanly possible. This book is heart-wrenching, deep and thoughtful. So if you’re looking for funny, don’t pick this one up. But if you want a book that will make you think about truth, the human condition and the tough stuff in life, I highly, highly recommend this book. And yes, I cried (shocker).
Here's an article/review written by Jessica Bruder, a woman who knew Dowd well: It Takes a Monster to Learn How to Grieve
Another great review from Stackedbooks.org
Here's an article written by a 17-old-student here in GJ. Genrefluent's Bistro Book Club - Teens Talk About Books
Here's a link to Siobhan Dowd's website The Siobhan Dowd Trust
30 November 2011
True (...Sort of) by Katherine Hannigan
True (...Sort of)
Katherine Hannigan
Greenwillow Books
2011
Katherine Hannigan
Greenwillow Books
2011
When I started reading Katherine Hannigan’s novel True (Sort of…) my first impression was that it was an elementary level book. I liked the character Delly Pattison and her made up words – you know, being a word-maker-upper myself – but it was just a little too…cutsie for me. I couldn’t imagine a super-cool 8th grader being willing to read about “surpresents” (surprise presents) and “mysturiosities” (very curious mysteries). In fact, I envisioned the book being read aloud to a class of sixth graders. Theoretically, a teacher could read this book aloud to a class – it’s a bit long, but it’s a very quick read. However, in the end, I’m not sure I’d read it aloud to a class. For a book that starts off being “cutsie” it definitely hits some heavy topics and in the end, is a very deep, meaningful and profoundly touching book.
Clearly, I loved it.
Like I said, it’s the story of Delly (Delaware) Pattison – second youngest in a family with five children. Delly has been labeled a troublemaker, even though her escapades are always done with the best intentions. The book starts out explaining how when Delly was younger, she was happier and even though she got in trouble, she always had a smile on her face and would wake up and face the day with excitement. Somewhere along the line though, Delly lost that smile and that excitement, and now she’s usually just angry.
Then she meets Ferris Boyd, the new girl who doesn’t speak and doesn’t allow anyone to touch her. She’s sort of a “mysturiosity” to Delly, so Delly starts following her home, telling her stories. Delly is supposed to go home after school, so their friendship is sort of a secret. Soon, they are best friends. Throughout the rest of the book, that friendship is tested, and Delly learns about the world around her and slowly starts to understand that she has been rather selfish in life. As she learns to be self-less, the relationships in her life – with her family, teachers, and even with the local police officers – improve, and her life is profoundly changed.
What I love about this book is Delly’s worldview. She sees the world in a completely different light than most people. It’s the perfect blend of innocence, ignorance, wonder and thought. It’s her worldview that creates, almost ruins, and saves her friendship with Ferris. I would like to think that there are 6th graders out there who are like Delly – who are still able to see the wonder in the world, but who realize the importance of being there for those you love.
For a book that started out as a fun, read-aloud book, I cried hard in the end, and my worldview has changed in regards to my students. I no longer think this would be a good book to read aloud to a class, but I will recommend it to just about any one of my students who enjoys realistic fiction, and I think I might recommend that the Literacy teachers at my school read it. In fact, I would say this would be an excellent book for any middle school student, or anyone who works with middle school children. It is a beautifully written book with heart and a sense of humor.
29 November 2011
Dead Rules by Randy Russell
Dead Rules
Randy Russell
HarperTeen
2011
Randy Russell
HarperTeen
2011
Creeperific cover eh? For the first few days I had this book, I really wanted to spin old school and make a brown paper bag cover for this bad boy, the cover freaked me out so much. However, about three days into reading, I realized that the back is the same, only different (wha?), so instead, I just remembered to keep the book face down on my bedside table. That and the description made me think it would be somewhat scary and it’s not at all. In fact, it’s just plain fantastic. Super fantastic. One of my favorite reads of the school year so far.
Jana Webster is one half of Webster and Haynes – champion debate duo and soul mates – and when she dies in a freak bowling accident, she is sure that her boyfriend, Michael Haynes, is absolutely devastated without her. She’ll do anything to have him join her at Dead School – the purgatory high school all teens go to between life and death.
The first thing I love about this book is Dead School itself. What a great idea! Real high school is kind of like purgatory for most of us, but it’s also a time where we figure out who we are (er…try to) and what we want to do with our lives. Dead School is similar in that kids are divided into different groups – risers, sliders, grays and virgins. Grays are students who took their own lives and are servants in the afterlife. Virgins are…well were…yeah, you get it…and they are the messengers for the powers that be. Risers are students who lived decent lives and died, usually by accident, and will most likely “rise” when they’re done with Dead School (a time frame that no one knows or understands for the record). Sliders are the opposite. These are the kids who lived life on the sketchy side and many died while in the middle of some illegal or dastardly deed (what a great word – dastardly!).
Jana dies and is a Riser, however, in order to help her boyfriend die, she must become a Slider – something that rarely happens in Dead School. In order to become a Slider, she’ll need the help of Mars Dreamcote – the handsome Slider with a secret or two. Mars is the second thing I love about this book. He is not what he seems and he is one of the most real, honest, fantastic kid…er dead kid…you can imagine. I kept thinking of some of my classmates when I was reading about him – were the people we thought of as misfits and “bad boys” really just kids trying to make heads or tails of their lives? If you can read this book and not fall in love with Mars, you’re heartless (ok, maybe not, but still, you might want to have yourself checked out by a professional).
Jana is also an excellent character. Her death makes her reexamine her life, and though this isn’t a new concept, Russell definitely puts a new spin on it. Her drive to become a Slider and thus help her devoted boyfriend join her in the afterlife is so focused, she completely misses out on some big details just like she did while she was alive. When it all becomes clear to her, her change/revelation/epiphany – whatever you want to call it – is fantastic (if not just a wee bit predictable).
Yeah, so basically Dead Rules is an awesome book that I would recommend to anyone who likes realistic fiction that is set in a science fiction world. Oh, and anyone who likes a laugh. It’s darn funny – the stories of how all the characters die are hilarious as are the dialogue and the rules of Dead School.
Enjoy!
28 November 2011
Liar by Justine Larbalestier
Liar
Justine Larbalestier
Bloomsbury
2009
Justine Larbalestier
Bloomsbury
2009
Audiobook read by Channie Waites
I got this book because I liked the premise: Micah has been hiding her true identity for years but when her boyfriend is killed, she decides to come clean (to the reader at least) about the fact that she is a werewolf.
Unfortunately, it didn’t turn out as I’d planned. But I’ll get to that later.
As I said, the book is about Micah – a girl who doesn’t fit in anywhere. The truth is she’s a werewolf. Her family on her father’s side are all werewolves, and she inherited the “family illness”. The book starts off with Micah telling us about all the ways she’s lied in the past – pretending she’s a boy, not telling her parents where she’s going or with whom. Then her boyfriend (secret boyfriend) turns up missing and since everyone knows she lies all the time, they assume she did or knows something. When it turns out her boyfriend was mauled by wild dogs, Micah has to figure out who really killed Zach and convince her parents it wasn’t her so they won’t ship her off to live with her crazy, red-neck were-relatives.
As I said, the book ended up being very different from what I imagined. For one, Larbalestier does an amazing job of weaving lies and truth together. She does such an amazing job, in the end, you have no idea what is lie and what is the truth. Truth be told, I think I need to go back and re-read the end of the book because I really don’t know what was true and what was fiction, and I can’t decide whether that is a plus or a minus for the book.
I’m also not sure how I feel about this book because I listened to it on audiobook and, well, I pretty much hated it. It was read very slowly and the different accents the narrator attempted were forgotten relatively quickly or just plain bad*. Usually when I don’t like an audio book I quit listening and finish reading the book in print and that often helps. However in this case, by the time I got the print book, I’d listened to so much of the book, I only had about a chapter and a half left – not enough to be redemptive.
I would recommend this book to high school aged students who are fans of science fiction and romance – anyone who likes secrets, werewolves and “forbidden love”. It’s definitely a girl book, and the language and violence are a bit much for the average middle school student. I will not give up on Justine Larbalestier because of this one book though! Mostly because she’s married to Scott Westerfield (one of my favs), and because the title of her other book – How to Ditch Your Fairy – is just entirely too tempting!
*I say this with all due respect to Ms. Waites. I couldn’t do her job no matter how hard I tried. Just ask my friends. Last year I tried reading a passage from a book aloud to them and it was crapski.
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