My Fair Lazy by Jen Lancaster

My Fair Lazy : One Reality Television Addict's Attempt to Discover if Not Being a Dumb Ass is the New Black, or a Culture-Up Manifesto

Jen Lancaster
New American Library
2010

Jen, if you happen to be reading this review, I heart you, and can we please be best friends?

For the rest of you who lovingly laugh at my stupid jokes and my inability to keep my mouth shut and not say the sarcastic thing I’m thinking about the moron across the room, please go read any of Jen Lancaster’s books.  Why?  For one, she writes like I talk (only much funnier).  But there are many reasons.

First, she is the master of the footnote.  After finishing my masters, I said something along the lines of “I never want to read another footnote or annotation again!”  But Lancaster taught me that footnotes can be fun!

Her sense of humor is sarcastic, pointed and, well, right.  She, like me, says the things the rest of you don’t want to say out loud but think.  She just gets paid for it.  I work for peanuts to “change the future”.  Don’t get me wrong, I love what I do, but sarcasm and middle school students make a fire-y cocktail that usually ends in tears.  But more importantly, she’s real, and her humor is real.  Her books are not fantasy, they are not science fiction, and when you read her books, there is no suspense of reality.  She writes about things that happen to all of us: getting laid off, getting fat and learning that we know nothing.

My Fair Lazy is, as the title explains, a memoir about the quest to move from reality TV to real life.  In the book she realizes that while she is a wealth of TV and movie facts, but when it comes to literature, the theater or anything non-Jersey Shore related, she’s lost.  So she sets out to better herself and its hilarious every step of the way.  While Lancaster is able to find humor in just about every situation, she is also extremely real, and that’s what makes me love her even more.  When I read about her dog getting sick, I teared up and then laughed because she then described the dog’s stench in great detail.

What makes me love her even more is the fact that she realizes how little she knows about the world and chooses to do something about it, without losing who she is.  So many people think that reality TV is real, and…I hate to burst bubbles, but…it’s not.  Reality TV stopped being real before the turn of the century.  It’s still fun to watch, and might be mildly educational (the Amazing Race teaches us about geography and various cultures, and anything on MTV teaches us about drugs and contracting STDs), but to experience life you have to live it, not watch it.  In the end, Lancaster doesn’t become a know-it-all, nor does abandon her television habits.  She just becomes a more well-rounded person.  Which, in this case, is a good thing.  If you want to read about her quest to fight the “roundness” in her life, pick up Such a Pretty Fat.  It’s amazing.

Who would I recommend this book to?  It's difficult to recommend one of Jen's books.  But her books in general?  I'd recommend to anyone who has ever wanted to make a sarcastic remark and hasn't, anyone who has ever realized that they aren't actually perfect but are willing to come to terms with it, or anyone who wants a good belly laugh when they read, I'd highly recommend this book.  And truthfully, if you can get through one of her books without laughing, I will give you $100.

If you need short little doses of hilarity, check out her blog:
http://www.jennsylvania.com/
It too is quite awesome (though she's working on her newest book, so lately it's been a bit slow).

I am Nujood, Age 10 and Divorced by Nujood Ali

I am Nujood, Age 10 and Divorced Nujood Ali with Delphine Minoui
Translated by Linda Coverdale
Three Rivers Press
2010

I like to think of myself as a strong, independent woman.  However, reading a story like Nujood's, I find myself wondering what I would do if I were in an arranged, abusive marriage.  I'd like to think I'd have the courage to step up and walk away, but I also know that a great portion of my strength comes from my family, so I think if I were in an abusive marriage that was arranged by my family, I'm not sure I'd be able to walk away without their support.  But I think I'd be able to do it.  My family isn't the only community I have, so I think it would be painful and it'd take a truckload of prayer and support, but I'd be able to do it.

Having said that, I'm 33, employed and live in a country where my voice is heard regardless of my gender.  When I read the story of Nujood - the ten year old girl in Yemen who walked into a courthouse one day and demanded a divorce - I realized that while I might think I'm strong, I can't imagine the strength and courage this young woman has (when you hear her story, you'll understand why I find it hard to think of her as a little girl).  Nujood was only ten years old when her father married her off to a man three times her age and sent her to live with her new in-laws far away from the only family she has ever known.  Her new family will not allow her to go to school, and though her new husband promised not to touch her until she was old enough (the accepted age in Yemen is thirteen.  THIRTEEN), he forces himself on her regularly.  Though she doesn't have much understanding of how the world works, she knows that a judge can help her, so one day she pulls together all her courage and enough money to ride the bus to the courthouse and finds a judge and asks the judge for a divorce.  Wow.

The book is a quick read that is expertly written - Delphine Minoui does an amazing job of balancing Nujood's strength and character with the simple fact that she is just a little girl.  In one scene she walks into the courthouse demanding a divorce in a country where women are often ignored altogether, and in the next, she is thankful that she has made new friends (the children of one of the judges who agrees to help her) and that she can play with dolls instead of being scared to sleep.  You want to feel sorry for Nujood, but you just can't - she doesn't want people to feel sorry for her.  She wants people to learn from her story and help others.

I would recommend this book to anyone who is interested in what life is like for women in the Middle East.  I've read books about life for women in Iraq, Iran, Pakistan and now Yemen.  Some of the accounts are terribly frightening and depressing, and some show hope - much like Nujood's.  And I know that stories like this are not limited to "other places" - terrible things happen around the world, in every country, every day.  Luckily, we have stories like Nujood's that inspire us and remind us that it's important to look out for each other and to do what we know is right - even if the societal norm has been/is contrary. 

If you want to read more about Nujood without reading the book, here is Glamour Magazine's article naming Nujood and her lawyer as 2008 Women of the Year.

If hearing stories like Nujood's gets your helping genes racing, I'd recommend Vital Voices as a wonderful organization to support.

If I am Missing or Dead - Janine Latus

If I am Missing or Dead
Janine Latus

This was one of those books I bought while on a book binge at Barnes and Noble. I see those tables that advertise books for under $5 and it's like crack cocaine (I learned today that these books are called 'remainders' from my library Guru, Di Herald). I'll buy anything sitting on the table! I won't lie, most of the time the books I buy from the cheap table aren't that great, but this one was pretty darn good.

It is Janine's memoir, and it is the story of her life and struggles with abusive relationships, and the story of the abusive relationship that ultimately took her sister Amy's life. What I truly enjoyed about the book is that Janine does not shy away from all sides of abuse, and I'm not sure if I can clearly explain how she did this. I never felt like Janine was painting a picture of herself as the victim, but she definitely suffered from verbal and physical abuse from her former spouse. She wrote in such a way as to cause the reader to think "why did she put up with that crap", maybe because she now sees that she shouldn't have. If you visit her page, you'll see that she is an advocate for victims of domestic abuse and has done quite a bit of work for this cause.

My life has been pretty awesome - I've had very few terrible events happen in my life. It's books like these that help me remember to be thankful for my blessings and remember to keep those who are in terrible situations in my prayers.

Mennonite in a Little Black Dress by Rhoda Janzen

Mennonite in a Little Black Dress
Rhoda Janzen

This book was a fun read. I believe that who we are is a compilation of the events in our lives and how we react to them and learn from them. This witty and touching memoir is a testament to the fact that life is what you make of it, and that true family is always with us and there for us.